And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Bring me that man meat
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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