I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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