Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
