so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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