Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
