Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
