If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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