Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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