Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
