Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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