omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
