my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
