Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
