I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
