Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
