Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
