someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
