Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I love you.
Bad choice
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
