It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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