No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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