Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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