So drunk its hurt
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
