I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
