whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
