he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
