I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
