Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
