thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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