legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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