i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize