when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Two words: blizzard sex
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
