i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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