And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
