Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo

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(556): View more from

Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.

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(602): View more from Arizona

He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow

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(562): View more from California

I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas

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(913): View more from Kansas

Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.

(816): View more from Missouri

Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????

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(801): View more from Utah

Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.

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(206): View more from Washington

idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...

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(219): View more from Indiana

Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol

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