So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
