Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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