How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
