Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
