I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
