So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
