Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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