if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
