I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
