We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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