Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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