so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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