They should really pass out barf bags in church
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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