I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
this hospital has no fireball
My vagina is officially offended.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize