Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We left the knife in your bed.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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