Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
