I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Still dying that you shit outside
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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