what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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