I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
