Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize