why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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