i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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