You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
