Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
