3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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