garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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