It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
