We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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