im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
