Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
